FACT 1: Office desks have 400 times more bacteria than toilet seats. So, be safe and eat your lunch on a toilet instead of your desk.
FACT 2: Bottled drinking water has been marketed as being cleaner and more pure than ordinary tap water, but, in a recent study, a third of bottled water showed significant chemical or bacterial contamination, including arsenic, nitrates, carcinogenic compounds, and coliform bacteria. Probably the bottom third; that kind of stuff tends to sink.
FACT 3: One in five office coffee mugs contains fecal bacteria and E. coli, which can cause diarrhea, food poisoning, and infections. Not surprising, since most office coffee tastes like shit. Related fact: Three of five office coffee mugs feature sayings that are meant to be funny but aren’t, like “Bean me up, Scotty” and “No coffee, no workee.”
FACT 4: Vegetarians beware: many low-fat and nonfat yogurts and sweets contain gelatin, which is made from animal tendons, ligaments, and bones. You’d think the crunching would give it away. It must be drowned out by the sound of all those vegetarians patting themselves on the back for being vegetarians.
FACT 5: Think you’re avoiding monosodium glutamate (MSG) by checking product labels? You could be wrong. Food makers now conceal MSG in packaged foods by listing it under other names, such as autolyzed or hydrolyzed vegetable protein, torula yeast, soy extracts, yeast extract, and protein isolate. So the next time you’re at a Chinese restaurant, instead of asking for “No MSG, please,” say, “No autolyzed or hydrolyzed vegetable protein, torula yeast, soy extracts, yeast extract, and protein isolate, please.” And the waiter will still nod and smile as if the MSG wasn’t already in the food and he could remove iteven if he had any intention of doing so, which he doesn’t.